Detroit: city unintended consequences!(Cartoon)

SPRING 2012: IT WAS MY FIRST TRIP TO DETROIT, MICHIGAN, SO NATURALLY I CONVINCED A LOCAL TO GIVE ME THE "RUINS PORN" TOUR ...

AFTER MARVELING AT ONE MONUMENT TO FUTILITY AFTER ANOTHER, WE EVENTUALLY DROVE BY THE MASSIVE, FORTY ACRE PACKARD PLAN THAT SHUT DOWN OVER FIFTY YEARS AGO ...

EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT PLACE DEPRESSED THE HELL OUT OF ME--ESPECIALLY THE SIGHT OF THE STILL-OCCUPIED HOMES RIGHT NEXT TO IT ...

OH, MAN ... THAT GUY LIVES RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THIS MONSTROSITY ...

HE HAS TO LOOK AT THIS THING EVERY DAY ...

HOW CAN HE STAND IT?!

I ALSO WAS STRUCK BY HOW EMPTY MOST OF THE STREETS WERE: OF HOMES, BUSINESSES, AND ESPECIALLY PEOPLE ...

HOW CAN THIS CITY HAVE SUCH A HIGH CRIME RATE?

WHERE ARE ALL THE "PERPS"? OR THEIR POTENTIAL VICTIMS?

THEY CALL COME OUT AT NIGHT ...

SWARMS OF UNSUPERVISED TEENS, MOSTLY ...

IT'S LIKE A SCENE FROM A ZOMBIE MOVIE.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, MY GUIDE WAS ARMED. YET HE ALSO WAS DRIVING WITH AN OPEN BOTTLE OF VODKA AND NO SEAT BELT--PRETTY BRAZEN BEHAVIOR BACK WHERE I CAME FROM!

SEATTLE COPS ACTUALLY ENFORCE SEATBELT LAWS?

NOTHING BETTER TO DO, I GUESS.

NEXT STOP, DOWNTOWN: GROUND ZERO FOR ALL THE TOP-DOWN, LARGE-SCALE "SOLUTIONS" TO DETROIT'S MANY WOES ...

THERE'S A MONORAIL TO NOWHERE, NATURALLY, AS WELL AS ALL THE GLITTERY NEW SPORTS COMPLEXES ...

THE TIGERS' NEW STADIUM IS QUITE BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH THE LOCALS STILL WONDER WHY THE OLD ONW WAS RAZED JUST TO BE REPLACED WITH ... NOTHING.

THEN THERE ARE THOSE MONUMENTS TO ECONOMIC DESPERATION: CASINOS ... EACH ONE COMPETING FOR THE PATRONAGE OF SOCIETY'S DREGS ...

AND FINALLY, THAT MONUMENT TO WISHFUL THINKING: THE RENAISSANCE CENTER. STILL WAITING FOR THAT "RENAISSANCE" AFTER THIRTY-FIVE YEARS!

LOST BETWEEN THESE PUBLICLY SUBSIDIZED BEHEMOTHS ARE THE GUTTED REMAINS OF A ONCE-THRIVING PRIVATE SECTOR: GRAND OLD THEATERS AND OFFICE BUILDING TAXED AND CRIMEWAVED OUT OF BUSINESS OVER FORTY YEARS AGO ...

ALL THAT SHINY NEW STUFF WAS SUPPOSED TO ATTRACT PRIVATE BUSINESSES. YET ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT DROVE THEM AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE REMAIN UNCHECKED.

MASSIVE PROJECTS = MASSIVE KICKBACKS, AND DETROIT'S "LEADERS" CAN'T SEEM TO SAY NO TO ANY OF THEM, AS THEY ROUTINELY CLEAR ENTIRE BLOCKS FOR GRAND SCHEMES THAT OFTEN FAIL TO MATERIALIZE.

YET THESE SLABS OF PRIME REAL ESTATE REMAIN OFF LIMITS TO ANY DEVELOPER UNWILLING TO PROVIDE A COUNCILMAN'S NEPHEW WITH A SIX-FIGURE "JOB".

NONE OF THIS IS UNIQUE TO DETROIT, OF COURSE. BUT NOWHERE ELSE WILL YOU FIND SUCH A COMPLETE...