Chronically ill child can doom marriage.

While popular image of couples pulling together during a crisis still lingers, the reality is quite different. The strong emotions of frustration, guilt, exhaustion, and anger that haunt parents who must care for their marriage, even when the youngster's life is saved, points out James Wenzl, professor of pediatrics, University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center.

Couples who maintain a united front while their offspring is critically ill often find their marriage falls apart when he or she stabilizes or is on the road to recovery. When the youngster does not recover, the divorce rate soars even higher.

Although many of these marriages already have "cracks," the stress of caring for a chronically ill child tends to bring marital troubles to the forefront much more quickly. Blame often becomes an issue. For instance, parents of youngsters with genetically based diseases such as hemophilia have a higher than 70% divorce rate.

"The time constraints alone of caring for a chronically ill child are very challenging to any marriage," notes social worker Cindy Sturm. "For example, if a child is on kidney dialysis at home, there is a need for highly trained, 24-hour care, which usually means one parent ends up quitting his or her job. Simple fatigue becomes a big problem. Imagine the exhausting routine a couple goes through when their first child is an infant. The situation with a...