A cheater's redemption?

• Author: Cohen, Randy
• Position: THE ETHICIST: Life's full of questions; he's got answers

My daughter is a high school senior. In her sophomore year, she was caught cheating on a test and suspended. Because she had an exemplary junior year and it was her first and Last offense, the School expunged the suspension from her records. If my daughter is asked on her cortege applications, must she admit cheating? ANONYMOUS

YES. The school's decision to expunge the record doesn't justify your daughter's deceit. If a college asks a question, she must give an honest answer. The high school may have purged its records of her offense, but it cannot after the facts of the matter.

Knowing that the high school, no longer has any record of this incident might make it tempting to conceal it: There's little chance your daughter would be caught in a lie. But she should not yield to that temptation.

I hope college admissions offices will show a real understanding of youthful fallibility, regarding this misstep not as the defining moment of your daughter's life but as a one-time thing.

UPDATE: The daughter was asked about cheating, replied honestly and was accepted by her early-decision college.

My friend Natalie had a smart party to which another friend brought a movie on his portable hard drive for everyone to watch. When Natalie got up to get a sweater, she tripped on the cord and broke the hard drive. She offered our friend $300 to replace it, but he wanted $1,800 to cover the cost of data retrieval as well: The drive contained his digital artwork, which he hadn't backed up. Who owes what? JOE KERR, NEW YORK

THE FRIEND owes Natalie an apology for rebuffing her generous offer.

If this was an ordinary mishap, then she owes him nothing. As a matter of courtesy, she should offer to replace his hard drive. And with equal, courtesy, he should decline. Then all the guests...