Chapter 7 Getting Help: Whom Can I Turn To?

• Library: Divorce & Money (Nolo) (2020 Ed.)

CHAPTER 7: Getting Help: Whom Can I Turn To?

Questions to Consider When Seeking Outside Help

Is the Person Competent and Suited to Handle My Specific Case?

How Is This Professional Paid?

What's the Best Use of This Professional's Services?

Am I Evaluating This Professional Objectively?

Selecting Professionals to Assist You

Lawyers

Limited-Scope Representation or "Unbundling"

Tips on Working With Your Lawyer

Mediators

Collaborative Divorce

Arbitrators and Private Judges

Financial Planners

Divorce Financial Analysts

Stockbrokers and Money Managers

Accountants

Bankers

Insurance Agents

Real Estate Agents

Therapists

Credit Counselors

Typing or Paralegal Services

Actuaries

Business Appraisers

Private Investigators

Online Do-It-Yourself Divorce Services

During divorce, you're going through a time of transition unlike any other in your life. Everything is changing. No matter how capable you are, you'll need help to get through this transition.

Even if you have little money and few resources, it's important to get support. Check with local libraries, churches, community organizations, law schools, colleges, or government agencies for low-cost services. In some areas, divorce specialists and centers can advise you for a small fee.

The kind of help you seek will depend on what you need. For some, a personal counselor or therapist is crucial; others want only a temporary adviser to handle financial details. As your divorce progresses, you may also need to call on a variety of specialists ranging from attorneys to real estate agents, credit counselors to appraisers. Because your future is at stake, don't cheat yourself; get the best you can afford. Comparison shop and check references before signing contracts for outside services.

Questions to Consider When Seeking Outside Help

While you need to ask different, specific questions of each service provider you consult, the following four questions are useful ones to ask yourself when choosing professionals in general.

Is the Person Competent and Suited to Handle My Specific Case?

Obviously, you want to work with someone who does a good job and can be trusted. Beyond those basic qualities, it's essential to determine that the person's training and services match your needs. In other words, you don't hire a bookkeeper if your situation calls for an accountant to make complex calculations or compute taxes. By the same token, an experienced divorce attorney is better than a lawyer who specializes in business transactions. Interview potential consultants on the phone, or use introductory sessions to outline your case and find out exactly what to expect, before you hire anyone.

CAUTION

Accepting a free session with a lawyer or another professional may mean that you end up being pressured into hiring that person. You may be sold a service that you do not want or need. To avoid such problems, clearly state that you are only gathering information in the initial session and do not intend to make a hiring decision until after you have had a chance to sort through the information you receive. Remember, too, the adage that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Be wary of any lawyer who seems to promise you the world, making guarantees that you can get anything you want in your divorce. There are no guarantees.

How Is This Professional Paid?

How a professional is paid—by the hour, on a retainer, or through commissions—inevitably affects you. This is a statement of fact, not a matter of philosophy or morals. If you will be paying by the hour, you must understand how that time will be billed. Does the professional bill in ten-minute, 15-minute, or longer intervals? Are you going to be charged for time on the phone? Does the clock begin to run the minute you walk in the door? Find out.

When people work on commission, their livelihood depends on selling you something. Again, there's nothing wrong with that—you just need to recognize that reality and act accordingly. For instance, when you call for information about insurance coverage, the agent may try to sell you a new policy or different kind of coverage. Only you can decide whether it's appropriate to make such a purchase. Because of the emotional strain of divorce, take extra time to make decisions, or insist on getting a second opinion before you buy anything.

What's the Best Use of This Professional's Services?

Like many people going through a divorce, you may sometimes feel that you don't know where to turn. As personal and financial pressures mount, you could go to the wrong people for the wrong services. Trying to use your lawyer as a therapist or your banker as a tax consultant is an exercise in frustration. Think about your needs first and be sure you are using each professional's expertise appropriately.

Recognize the limits of each adviser you contact. Your local real estate agent, for example, may not be able to appraise the value of commercial property or of a vacation house located in a different city. If necessary, ask for referrals to specialists, and keep asking questions until you find the right person to answer them. You can save time and money by gathering much of the data the professional will need, especially financial information. Chapter 8 details the kind of information you'll need.

Am I Evaluating This Professional Objectively?

It's fine to ask friends and associates for referrals, but do not give up your own objectivity and accept a referral blindly, even if it comes from someone you trust. When you first meet with the professional, ask questions to determine if the person is knowledgeable, capable, and a good match for you and the unique facts of your case. If you feel uncertain, take your concerns seriously.

Similarly, do not feel compelled to use your sister just because she is an attorney or your uncle just because he is an accountant. Objectivity—on their parts and yours—is very important. Your relatives may have your best interests in mind and be very trustworthy, but they may not have the expertise and/or experience you need. You may not want to disclose personal but important facts to relatives, or they may miss creative solutions and the big picture because they are too close to your situation. Empathy may feel soothing, but a professional's clear eye for detail and probing for the facts is what matters most.

Selecting Professionals to Assist You

Besides providing quality service, a good professional should explain potential risks in your situation and offer realistic appraisals of results and consequences. Keep that in mind as you review these descriptions of professionals who can help you during divorce. (For handy reference, you can enter names, addresses, and phone numbers of your professional advisers at the end of the appendix.)

Lawyers

For assisting during a divorce, lawyers charge hourly rates. These fees vary widely across the country and locally, too, mostly based on the lawyer's experience level. Be sure to find one that fits your wallet. Be aware, too, that most lawyers require that you pay an up-front retainer before they do any work, sometimes amounting to thousands of dollars. As the lawyer spends time working for you, the bill is paid out of your retainer.

When the retainer is used up, your lawyer will either bill you directly or ask for another lump sum from which to draw. If you hire a lawyer who requests a retainer, be sure that you get monthly statements showing the precise work done, the amount billed, the amount deducted from your retainer, and the amount left. If there's a balance remaining at the end of the case (or if you change lawyers), you're entitled to get back any unused money.

Financial negotiations and lines of authority remain clearest when each party is represented by an independent attorney. In some states the court can order your wealthier spouse to pay your lawyer fees, so if you really can't afford an attorney you can check into whether that's a possibility. You can also look into limited-scope representation, described below.

Limited-Scope Representation or "Unbundling"

Hiring a lawyer to represent you in a divorce can be enormously expensive, way beyond the reach of many people. In California, for instance, about 70% of divorce petitions involve self-represented parties. But many of the folks representing themselves in family court could benefit greatly from even a little bit of legal advice.

The House of Delegates of the American Bar Association (ABA) reports that 41 states have adopted a rule allowing lawyers to limit the scope of representation if it's reasonable to do so under the circumstances. Many states now authorize attorneys to provide limited legal services to their clients—a practice that was frowned upon in the past. This is called limited-scope representation or "unbundled" legal services. While aspects of limited-scope representation are still controversial, the American Bar Association now encourages its members to offer unbundled services, and many advocates believe that in divorce cases, it can be particularly useful.

With limited-scope representation, instead of an attorney representing you in all aspects of your case, you and the attorney can agree that you will perform some of the work in your case yourself and the lawyer will help with tasks you can't or don't want to do. Examples of how you can use unbundled legal services are:

• consulting a lawyer for legal information and advice about your case when you come upon something you don't understand, or for help with the more complicated parts of your case (such as discovery and legal research) while you do the simpler tasks yourself
• hiring a lawyer to represent you on certain issues in your case (such as child custody, child or spousal support, or dividing property) while you do the rest yourself
• hiring a lawyer to prepare forms and court documents, which you then file yourself and follow up by appearing in court
• hiring a lawyer to make a court appearance for you, or
•

...