A mother daughter culture clash: Chandra Touch has struggled to make her mother, a Cambodian immigrant, understand her American Lifestyle and ambitions.

• Author: Touch, Chandra
• Position: VOICES

For the last three years, I was a varsity cheerleader for the Portland High Bulldogs. I loved being involved in big school events like homecoming and pep rallies. But like a lot of things I did in high school, my mom just didn't get it.

I'm a first generation Cambodian-American. My mother came to the United States in 1978 as a refugee when she was just 6 years old. She was fleeing the terror of the Khmer Rouge regime, which ruled from 1975 to 1979 and killed 2 million Cambodians in a slaughter known as the "killing fields."

A MYSTERY

Since arriving in the U.S., she has had a tough time and has worked a lot of hard jobs to survive: everything from picking blueberries to serving food at a nursing home.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

I know my morn wants me to succeed, but she had trouble understanding my priorities in high school. My dedication to cheerleading was a mystery to her: She saw it as girls jumping around in short skirts, which seemed inappropriate, because girls in Cambodia wouldn't do that.

I also played field hockey and tennis, volunteered at a local hospital and nursing home, and was involved with student government.

To me, these activities were important, and were preparing me for college. But to my mother, they were distractions from our family life.

Last June, I became the first person in my family to graduate from high school. On graduation day, my mom said she was proud of me, but when the subject of going to college came up, she said she'd rather have me at home. (At that point, I still wasn't sure I could actually leave my mother and my younger sisters, since they depend on me a lot.)

There are so many things about my morn that I admire: how hard she has worked as a single parent and how she has held on to her culture.

I...