Bombs and Bullets.

• Author: Papritz, Carew
• Position: On parenting

AS A KID, I remember the most dreaded conversation that one ever had to anticipate was the "birds and the bees" talk. Whether it be from a parent or a teacher, that was the one you wanted to avoid. Now, as an adult and a father, I never would have dreamed that the birds and bees talk would be replaced by the "bombs and bullets" conversation; that the most beloved symbols of American decency, neighborliness, and civility--the teacher, the classroom, the school bus--would be dumped into the cauldron of animosity and outrage, anguish and evil. I never would have dreamed as a parent to hear the words from my children, "I'm afraid to go to school because I might get killed."

On what planet--in which universe--do you have a reply to that? As parents, we are supposed to have all the answers for our kids--or at least seem to. We are supposed to provide stability, reliability, and believability; to be their protectors and their heroes. You know you have become a parent when you understand, in the deepest, most heartfelt part of your soul, that you would do anything to protect your children--even die for them, but they are not supposed to die for you.

What is at the heart of this fundamental parenting problem? We have lost our credibility as parents. If we cannot say truthfully to our children, with a straight face, that they will be safe and that everything will be okay, then we as parents have lost the very foundation of what makes us parents--respect, authority, and trust. We cannot be believed. We know it, and our children know it. If we are not believed as a parent--we have lost. Heroes need to be believed to be heroes.

Kids know the real reality--they see it on TV, cell phones, and social media. They hear it through other kids on the playground, the bus, and after school. It now is part of their everyday life conversation: Go to school and you might get shot. I never have been a big fan of cell phones for kids, but over 90% of parents give their offspring cell phones for safety reasons...