Beyond “Lots of Hugs and Kisses”: Expressions of Parental Love From Parents and Their Young Children in Two‐Parent, Financially Stable Families

• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12327
• Author: Amy J. Rauer,Brenda Volling,Allen K. Sabey,Megan L. Haselschwerdt
• Published date: 01 September 2018
• Date: 01 September 2018

Beyond “Lots of Hugs and Kisses”: Expressions of

Parental Love From Parents and Their Young

Children in Two-Parent, Financially Stable Families

ALLEN K. SABEY*

AMY J. RAUER

†

MEGAN L. HASELSCHWERDT

†

BRENDA VOLLING

‡

Given that parental love is essential for children’s optimal development, the current

study gathered examples of how parental love was demonstrated within parent–child rela-

tionships. Fifty-eight two-parent, financially stable families consisting of a mother, father,

and young child (3–7 years old) from the Midwest were interviewed regarding how they

demonstrated or perceived parental love. Results from an inductive thematic analysis

revealed considerable variability in how parental love was demonstrated, with five themes

emerging that overlapped between parents and their children: playing or doing activities

together, demonstrating affection, creating structure, helping or supporting, and giving

gifts or treats. Some gendered patterns among these themes were found with mothers

emphasizing physical and verbal affection and fathers highlighting their more prominent

role as playmates. The lay examples provided by parents and children in this exploratory

study extend previous conceptualizations of parental love and underscore the importance

of parents being attuned and responsive to the specific needs of their children.

Keywords: Love; Parent–Child Relationships; Parenting; Qualitative Research

Fam Proc 57:737–751, 2018

The experience of feeling loved is essential for children’s healthy developm ent (Shonkoff

& Phillips, 2000; Sroufe, 2005). Children’s first experiences of feeling loved typically

occur within a parent–child relationship (Bowlby, 1969, 1982), and those with more loving

parents benefit in a number of ways—from greater peer competence in childhood to fewer

psychological adjustment problems later in life (e.g., depression, substance abuse; Groh

et al., 2014; Rohner, Khaleque, & Cournoyer, 2005). In light of the numerous benefits of

parental love, it is critical to understand how parents express this love and how children

perceive it early in life.

A current limitation to understanding parental love is that most relevant work to date

has assumed how parents demonstrate love using theories and operationalizations with-

out inquiring of parents or children how love is commonly experienced within their rela-

tionships. This approach is critical, as work with adults on different types of love (e.g.,

*The Family Institute at Northwestern University, Evanston, IL.

†

The University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN.

‡

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Allen K. Sabey, The Family Institute at

Northwestern University, 618 Library Place, Evanston, IL 60201. E-mail: asabey@family-institute.org.

This research was funded by a grant to the fourth author from the John E. Fetzer Institute. The authors

would like to thank the families for their participation.

737

Family Process, Vol. 57, No. 3, 2018 ©2017 Family Process Institute

doi: 10.1111/famp.12327