For better response, personalize your copywriting.

• Author: Turner, Jim
• Position: Direct Mail Essentials

Selling is more effective when it is personalized. And, of all the advertising media, direct mail has the most potential for personalization. If you want to make your direct mail campaigns as effective as possible, try making them more personal with these copywriting approaches.

The cover letter

You may be mailing to thousands of households, but your cover letter should be written to an individual--you speaking to the reader about his or her banking needs. Your letter, in essence, replaces the banker selling across the desk to the prospect.

One way to gauge how well you're writing to the reader's interests is to count second-person references in your copy. If your cover letter is heavy with first-person references such as "I, we, our bank," you may be talking outside the reader's interests. By using the second person--the word "you"--your copy speaks to the reader.

For example, instead of writing "A State Bank checking account has no monthly service charges," say, "You'll pay nothing in monthly service charges with your State Bank checking account." As a test, count the ratio of the second-person to first-person references. If the ratio isn't weighted in favor of second person, try to personalize it more.

You can improve your letter, too, with bullet points. The eye is drawn to them and they inform the reader quickly. Use bold type or underlines to make benefits stand out and to help the reader skim.

Should you spend money to personalize the letter with an inside address? It depends. For a business mailing or when you're selling more profitable products, it may be important. For lower profit margin products, certificates of deposit for example, it may not be necessary.

For most consumer mailings, use an easy, conversational style. Write as you would speak, but avoid bank jargon. Should your letter be long or short? The trend has been to write shorter letters as people become more sensitive to time and inundated with mail. However, remember that writing for direct mail is special: You are trying to elicit a response without meeting the customer.

Thus, if you expect the person to respond by signing up for a product (applying for a loan or sending a check as a deposit), you need...