Better homes and victory gardens.

• Author: Clinton, Kate
• Position: Unplugged - Brief Article

Ever since old Juggernaut George read to us that the increased border security would help the war on drugs, the anthrax scare would improve our health care system, and increased surveillance would make people dress nicer in public, I have been following all the exciting new war technologies.

I am so looking forward to their peacetime use, if there ever is such a thing again in my lifetime.

On many Internet search engines, there is a rich literature on the conversion of war technologies into peacetime doohickeys. Of course, we would not even have an Internet if it weren't for the MIT engineers hired by the Pentenron to improve their communication system.

Night vision goggles from George 41's Persian Gulf War are now widely used to hunt deer after dark in Wisconsin.

The wonders of Mapquest, a miracle for the directionally challenged like myself, are possible because of all the spy satellites beaming our global positioning system coordinates. I never get lost but often have the creepy feeling I am being followed.

And where would fashion be without the new beige camouflage?

Already, we see some Operation Enduring Freedom (Doesn't this sound like a new sanitary pad?) technological advances creeping into daily use.

Scud missiles turned out to be as accurate as a Chuck Knoblach throw, but I see big promise with the new nuclear cave cleaners. With just a thimbleful, spring cleaning is a thing of the past. Actually, if you use too much, spring is a thing of the past.

Isn't it ironic that when we have weapons of mass destruction they're called deterrents, but when someone else has nuclear weapons they're weapons of mass destruction?

Robot drones are the latest rage in unmanned aircraft. The robots do the dull and dangerous work that no one else wants to do. Like war. They, too, are being quickly adapted for civilian use. Robo-accountants. Robo-security personnel. Robo-droning TV personalities.

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