Best of business 2014.

By Peri Kinder I Illustrations by Bryan Beach

It's time once again to inaccurately and irreverently document the sacred/secular events that shaped our great state during the last year--the moments that made us laugh, cry and scream with frustration while shaking Eagle Forum bobble-head dolls.

Amidst all the Goblin Valley rock topplers, Common Core chaos and sweetheart deals made by the highly-paid Utah Transit Authority staff, several news stories stood out as being especially ludicrous. Let's review them, shall we? But remember, these opinions are my own, and are in no way meant to demonstrate accuracy or truth.

Best Civil War

Once the Utes joined the Pac 12, the Utah/BYU football Civil War was put on hold. But residents needed another divisive competition to keep morale high. Welcome to the "Deseret News/Salt Lake Tribune Newspaper Showdown."

Many D-News readers believe anything printed in the Tribune is heresy written by godless journalists who hunt panda bears in their spare time. Tribune readers are convinced articles printed in the Deseret News are a watered-down version of Utah's reality-, peppered with heavy doses of church press releases.

But the 17 remaining newspaper readers in the state understand the importance of having two daily papers, giving a voice to underrepresented groups on both sides. As journalists are a dying breed (right up there with dodo birds and moderate republicans), they're just happy to have jobs and will write for anyone who pays them.

The contentious issue revolves around a joint operating agreement between the two papers in which the D-News gets about 70 percent of the profits, leaving the Tribune with a measly 30 percent and coupons for 20 percent off any meal purchased at City Creek.

Readers worry the Tribune will disappear forever. They picture the D-News twirling its handlebar moustache as it laughingly kicks the penniless Trib out into the cold, dark night. But several groups have taken up the banner of the Tribune, hoping to keep a strong voice from being silenced.

Like most things, it boils down to money. As people stop subscribing to--and reading--newspapers, the argument to keep both daily papers might be moot. Maybe advertisers and readers should put their money where their mouths are.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Best Use of Spandex

In September, thousands of comic book aficionados slipped on their sleek (two-sizes-too-small) superhero costumes, hopped in their Millennium Falcons/invisible jets, and time-traveled to Salt Lake Comic Con 2014.

Who knew there were so many caped crusaders in Utah? After the record-breaking attendance at the first Salt Lake Comic Con in 2013, organizers followed up with another adventure in the spring of...