The family man balancing act executives find ways to juggle work and family.

• Author: O'Brien Fields, Melissa

Several years ago, while working at Novell Corporation, Ed McGarr, now vice president of sales for Starbridge Systems, got his wake-up call. It came during his annual review.

"I was told that, although I was very helpful, because of how involved I was with what everyone else was doing, I wasn't doing my job," McGarr says. "It hit me that not only was I ineffective in my job, but in many areas of my personal life as well." From that point on, McGarr says, he stopped being a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none, so to speak, and learned how to focus, work smart and get things done. "I now do the things that matter the most, in my job, with my family and with myself," he says.

Though we should all be so lucky to experience this kind of clarity, the challenges McGarr faced in balancing his work and family are those almost every married-with-children professional confronts at one point or another.

Recently, however, with more than 45 percent of America's workforce made up of women, much attention has been paid to the plight of mothers working outside the home. And justifiably so; society is adamant that if girls strive to accomplish the same professional goals as their male counterparts, they must pit that task against urgings about the importance of putting family first.

Another, less publicized tug of war is that waged by many working men. In the same way society offers a double-edged sword to professional women, men, too, are receiving mixed messages, says Rebecca Good, a licensed professional counselor in Salt Lake City. "Men are still socialized to be the bread-winners," Good says, "but as more of their wives enter the workforce, husbands are now expected to be able to perform traditionally female roles--child care, housework, carpools, etc.--as adeptly as their wives."

For many men, these new familial expectations are not fulfilled easily. Gary Kiger, professor of Sociology, dean of the College of Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences at Utah State University, and author of several gender, work and family studies, has identified four different kinds of work completed within a family unit. They include emotional work, or the emotional support a family lends to one another; domestic labor, or housework; childcare and rearing; and status enhancement work, or things spouses do for one another to enhance their professional lives. How this work is divided between a husband and wife, to many, may not be surprising. "Women consistently do more...