Why aunt Pashe became an uncle: by tradition, when a family in Albania lost all its men, a woman could swap gender roles and become the family patriarch. Now, however, the custom is fading.

• Author: Bilefsky, Dan
• Position: INTERNATIONAL

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Nearly 60 years ago, Pashe Keqi decided to live the rest of her life as a man. She chopped off her long black curls, traded in her dress for her father's baggy trousers, armed herself with a hunting rifle, and vowed to forsake marriage and children.

And Keqi wasn't the only one. For centuries, in the conservative society of rural Albania, swapping genders was considered a practical solution for a family with a shortage of men. Keqi's father was killed in a blood feud, and there was no male heir. By custom, Keqi, now 78, took a vow of lifetime celibacy. She became the family patriarch, with all the swagger and trappings of male authority.

The tradition of the female patriarch can be traced to a strict code of conduct, the Kanun of Leke Dukagjini, passed on orally among the clans of northern Albania for more than 500 years. Under the code, a woman's role was severely limited: Take care of children and maintain the home. A woman's life was worth half that of a man.

SOCIAL NECESSITY

The female patriarch was born of social necessity in a region plagued by war and death. If the man of the family died with no male heirs, unmarried women could find themselves alone and powerless. By taking an oath of celibacy, a woman could become head of the family, carry a weapon, own property, and move freely.

Such women dressed like men and spent their lives in the company of men. They were not ridiculed, but accepted in public life, even revered. For some women, it was a way to assert independence or avoid an arranged marriage.

Their choice to live as men, sociologists say, had nothing to do with being gay or straight. The custom "was a way for these women in a male-dominated, segregated society to engage in public life," says Linda Gusia, a professor of gender studies at the University of Pristina in Kosovo. "It was about surviving in a world where men rule."

Keqi became the man of the house at age 20 when her father was murdered. Her four brothers, who opposed the Communist government, were either imprisoned or killed. Becoming a man, she says, was the only way to support her mother, her four sisters-in-law, and their five children.

Keqi lorded over her large family in her modest house in Tirana, Albania's capital. Living as a man allowed her freedom denied other women. She worked construction jobs and prayed at the mosque with men. Even today, her nephews and nieces say, they would not dare marry without their "uncle's" permission.

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