Attachment Versus Differentiation: The Contemporary Couple Therapy Debate

• Published date: 01 June 2018
• Author: Adam R. Fisher,Nathan R. Hardy
• Date: 01 June 2018
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12343

Attachment Versus Differentiation: The

Contemporary Couple Therapy Debate

NATHAN R. HARDY*

ADAM R. FISHER

†

This paper reviews the current debate between differentiation and attachment in treating

couples through exploring the tenets of crucible therapy (Schnarch, 1991) and emotion ally

focused couple therapy (Johnson, 2004). We provide a review of the two theories—as well as

the two “pure form” example models—and explore the debate in light of the integrative

movement in couple and family therapy (Lebow, 2014). We also examine points of conver-

gence of the two theories and models, and provide clinicians and researchers with an

enhanced understanding of their divergent positions. Both differentiation and attachment

are developmental theories that highlight the human experience of balancing individuality

and connection in adulthood. The two models converge in terms of metaconcepts that per-

vade their respective theories and approach. Both models capitalize on the depth and

importance of the therapeutic relationship, and provide rich case conceptualizatio n and

processes of therapy. However, they substantially differ in terms of how they view the

fundamental aspects of adult development, have vastly divergent approaches to how a

therapist intervenes in the room, and different ideas of how a healthy couple should func-

tion. In light of the deep polarization of the two models, points of integration—particularly

between the broader theories of attachment and differentiation—are offered for therapists

to consider.

Keywords: Attachment; Differentiation; Couple therapy; Crucible therapy; Emotionally

focused therapy; Integration

Fam Proc 57:557–571, 2018

Imagine a clear container of oil and vinegar. When shaken up, no difference between the

oil and vinegar is readily noticeable, but when left to sit, their differences become quite

apparent. There has been rapid movement toward model integration in couple and family

therapy (Lebow, 2014); yet, amidst this movement, debates about model-specific differ-

ences abound. Integrating (or shaking up) models seeks to blend similar and unique theo-

ries and strategies in a cogent manner. To be clear, sometimes integration means bringing

very different models together in a unique way (like oil and vinegar). Integration can also

include blending very similar if not identical ideas that have simply been given different

language (“Tower of Babel” phenomenon; Lebow, 1984), or using aspects of various models

depending on the circumstance. The current trend in psychotherapy is overwhelmingly

toward integration; “integrative/eclectic” is the most common orientation (Norcross, Kar-

piak, & Santoro, 2005), even if it is not a majority. Gurman (2011) noted that al though

*Department of Human Development and Family Science, Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK.

†

The Family Institute at Northwestern University, Evanston, IL.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Nathan Hardy, Department of Human

Development and Family Science, Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK 74078. E-mail:

nathan.hardy@okstate.edu.

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Family Process, Vol. 57, No. 2, 2018 ©2018 Family Process Institute

doi: 10.1111/famp.12343