As the Mitt spins.

• Position: SLOWPOKE - Cartoon

SOME EXCUSES WE MAY HEAR YET ...

WHY WAS I STILL LISTED AS CEO OF BAIN AFTER I SAID I'D RETIRE?

I OUTSOURCED MYSELF, BUT DEEPAK KEPT PUTTING MY NAME ON S.E.C. FILINGS!

AS FOR MY OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS, I DID ALL THAT IN AN AMBIEN-INDUCED FUGUE STATE.

I ALSO ATE A QUART OF ROCKY ROAD THAT NIGHT. CAN'T REMEMBER A THING!

YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY OUTSIZE IRA? NO MYSTERY THERE. THE ACCOUNT IS IN AN OBSCURE BALKAN CURRENCY.

IT'S WORTH 30 MILLION DOLBLATS, NOT DOLLARS?

RELEASE MY TAX RECORDS? I'D LOVE TO, BUT MY...