Age-appropriate time sharing for divorced parents.

• Author: Corn, Andrea
• Position: Florida

In 1991, with the creation of the Commission on Family Courts, Florida began a process of substantially changing the way in which the courts deal with family law-related matters. (1) Over the years, in addition to streamlining the way related family law cases are handled, the concept of "therapeutic justice" has been woven into the fabric of the family court structure. (2) Part of the approval by the Supreme Court of the findings and recommendations of the Family Court Steering Committee noted that "[t]here will never be a 'one size fits all' model" for handling family law cases. (3)

Developmental research by psychologists has resulted in a wealth of information that can assist attorneys, judges, and other professionals involved in crafting time sharing plans. Our goal in this article is to provide the findings of the psychological research on age-appropriateness for time sharing between parents and children, together with statutory and case law that will be of use in implementing the plans from a perspective of child development research.

Over the past 20 years, there have been many articles written discussing the developmental and psychological needs of children prior to, during, and after the parents' marital dissolution. From infancy through adolescence, children will experience their parents' divorce differently, depending upon the age and developmental stage at the time of separation and divorce, the degree of conflict subsequent to this event and thereafter, and whether parents have constructed healthy boundaries upon which to handle their time sharing and visitation issues. Since the majority of pre-and post-divorce conflicts revolve around child-related issues (i.e., child support, visitation issues, philosophical differences with respect to parenting, remarriage, relocation, etc.), having attorneys who are sensitized to developmental issues can be of benefit to parents. Such guidance can be beneficial in understanding the inevitable changes children will undergo through their growing up years.

The Effects of Parental Conflict on Children

For the most part, divorce is a very painful and stressful event for all involved. (4) For many years, mental health professionals have documented how ongoing parental conflict before and after a divorce is frequently associated with harmful outcomes for children. (5) A child's capacity to adjust to his or her parents' divorce will be seriously compromised when the child is exposed to ongoing parental conflict. (6) In fact, the two most damaging factors impacting children of divorce are ongoing parental conflict and destabilized parent-child relationships. (7)

However, researchers are also starting to propose that while the majority of children experience problems in the months immediately preceding and following divorce, if the family can appropriately restabilize, some acute problems (i.e., emotional and/or behavioral problems, academic difficulties, or family conflicts) can diminish with time. (8) Of course, the key phrase is "if the family can appropriately restablize," as that statement signifies the heart of the problem. Only within the last 10 years have divorce researchers started to move away from the assumption that divorce can only be a traumatic and devastating event to conceptualizing divorce as a stressful life event to which there is the possibility of positive outcomes. (9)

Influence of Psychosocial Factors on Children When Parents Separate and Divorce

This article highlights the first five stages of Erik Erikson's psychosocial theory of development (10) in order to present how psychosocial factors affect children during the separation and divorce process. While Erikson's theory encompasses development throughout the entire lifespan, this article will examine the first five stages beginning in infancy through adolescence, since these are the years children are most affected by their parents' break-up. Another reason this theoretical model was selected was to highlight how important parental influences are in shaping personality development. Educating separated and divorced parents about this process is very important so they can comprehend how youngsters make sense of their parents' separation and divorce. In Erikson's theory, one conflict emerges at each developmental stage and becomes the most significant one to resolve. Consequently, the relationship that exists between parent and child will be crucial in determining how each conflict is overcome. While reparations can be made at later times to heal what was not attained, whatever vulnerabilities persist can affect a youngster's self-perception, self-esteem, and relationships with others.

The Infant: Birth to One Year

* Erikson's Psychosocial Development: Trust vs. Mistrust (11)--Although an infant is too young to comprehend the parents' separation and divorce, an infant will be affected by changes and disruptions in their environment. Psychological concerns at this stage center on the infant's capacity to form secure attachment to both parents in the context of co-parenting arrangements. (12) Parents must try to balance their ability to provide emotional continuity (i.e., voice tone, gestures, handling) with a stable environment in order to promote feelings of attachment, security, and trust.

* Psychological Input Regarding Visitation--Each parent needs to provide as much consistency as possible in his or her parenting, so the infant can form a global impression that the world is a safe and secure place. If the infant experiences an excessive amount of unpredictable, inconsistent, or untrustworthy caregiving, the infant is more likely to become a fearful, anxious, and frightened baby and experience the world as if it is an untrustworthy place.

While it would stand to reason that...