Almost Out of Come-Outs.

• Author: Clinton, Kate
• Position: Humorous reflections on declaring one's sexual orientation

You'll be happy to know that October 11 was the Eleventh Annual National Coming Out Day.

As a proudly observant lesbian, I participated once again. I'm getting to be a pro at this.

On the very first Coming Out Day, I learned never to come out to a close relative in a moving vehicle.

I am now out to all of my relatives. My ten-month-old grandniece seemed a bit bewildered but supportive in a goo-goo-ga-ga sort of way.

In a very misguided third year, I learned the critical preposition/proposition difference between coming out to and coming on to. Space restrictions preclude the juicy details, but you can find them on my web site: www.ingout.com.

During my ninth observance of National Coming Out Day, I discovered that coming out can be helpful in vacating the neighboring seat even on a crowded flight.

After eleven years of coming out, I am, quite frankly, almost out of come-outs. It's become quite the challenge. I've considered ringing neighbors' doorbells while wearing some drag king outfit, shrilling fabulously, "I'm a lesbian!" into their bemused faces, and opening my Tinky Winky pocketbook for treats.

I've also taken to announcing to my friends and family the number of shopping days until next National Coming Out Day and gently notifying them where I am registered for gifts.

This October 11, Abe Lincoln came out. Some historians, along with the playwright Larry Kramer, have pressed the claim that the tall, dreamy, raw-boned President was gay. This was based on the discovery of love letters from Joshua Speed, a longtime companion of the great emancipator. DNA tests were also done on sheets from the Lincoln bedroom and revealed unusually high thread counts. The Log Cabin Republicans have become even more insufferable.

I learned early on from my coming out experiences with my eldest brother that repetition is a good thing. Each year I would come out to him. We wouldn't talk about it again until the next National Coming Out Day, when he would say, "Is that all you ever talk about?" Repeatedly coming out to him did not inflate my totals, but it was good practice.

Recently, at his son's wedding reception, my brother...