All I want for Christmas.

• Author: Rundles, Jeff
• Position: Rundles wrap-up

THIS BEING DECEMBER AND ALL, I HAVE SHOPPING ON MY MIND, and more specifically customer service as it relates to my shopping experience--admittedly a familiar theme.

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I can shop in the stores, I can shop online, I can shop using toll-free telephone numbers--and I do all three regularly--but I can't get over an inescapable fact: Most businesses haven't got a clue about how to treat customers well.

Back in my college days I had the interesting experience of working at a J.C. Penney store, right here in Denver, and I was lucky enough to draw the assignment of drilling bowling balls in the sporting-goods section. Hey, it beats selling shoes, right?

When you worked at Penney's in those days, you had to take a short orientation course, and it wasn't really to teach you how to do anything--that would come from co-workers on the floor--it was designed to teach you the attitude you should take into your job. The attitude: whatever the customer wanted.

The retail chain was founded by James Cash Penney, in Kemmerer, Wyo., and he wanted everyone in every store to follow the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

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We were taught that if we satisfied the customer, no matter what, we could not make a mistake. Needless to say, I had to redrill a ton of botched bowling balls, and I never needed the approval of any supervisor.

Today, I'm convinced, retail store personnel have to get supervisor permission to breathe.

Just the other day I wanted to buy a toaster, and the only toaster like it in the store was the display model. They wouldn't let me have it. They wouldn't take my money. The clerk said he thought it was a dumb policy but it was, nevertheless, the policy and no one, not even his supervisor, could overrule it.

It goes beyond stores, of course. A few months ago, sucked in by a brilliant advertising campaign ("Hey, dude, you're getting a ...") I bought a brand-name computer because I wanted top-of-the-line and top-quality service. It's been a nightmare ever since. When they are in a selling mode, they'll tell you everything you want to hear, and they'll promise you the world. Unfortunately...