Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?

• Author: Falconi, Robert R.
• Position: Friendship between the boss and the staff

"To build a staff into a team that does the best possible job for the organization: Be friendly to staff members, but don't treat them like close personal friends." This is a direct quote from a management newsletter. It does make some sense. You never know when you'll have to discipline one of your employees or give 'em the old heave-ho.

Consider these two scenarios: "William, as you know, your work no longer meets our standards and, in accordance with Policy 3-3, I'm terminating your employment. Ms. Smeckinhoster from Personnel will help you out-process." William nods solemnly and leaves the room.

You never did like William, and he knows it. You're delighted at how easy and fast it went. You still have time to make it to the club for racquetball. You never think about William again.

Contrast that scene with this one: "Billy, Billy, Billy, how long have we known each other? A long time, right? We've had a lot of fun, a whole lot of fun. Man, when I think of all the things we've done ... What I'm trying to say is, despite our friendship, I have to let you go." Billy grabs your arm and begins screaming, "My mortgage, my mortgage!" As he regains control, he looks at you and says, "I thought you were my friend." "I was, Billy Boy. I was."

You never forget Billy and often get a lump in your throat at the sound of his name. You vow never to get to know your employees again.

WHY I BECAME AN ACCOUNTANT

I guess the first scene is the preferred one, especially if you're really into racquetball. But I'd rather be friends - sometimes very close friends - with my staff and deal with the occasional human-relations problem than keep an emotional distance.

I didn't start work with that intention. At every one of those menial jobs I had in high school and college, I hated my boss just as every other kid did. And the boss seemed to hate us, a quid pro quo sort of thing. When I became a "professional," I observed the same phenomenon except I didn't hate my boss anymore. I loved my boss.

He was the chief accountant. I called him the "The Chief," and he called me "The Falcon." Even though I had only six hours of accounting in college and was very unemployed, he hired me for an accounting position. I think the main reason was he liked me. It certainly wasn't because I was qualified.

But, due in large part to this wonderful relationship, I actually learned to like accounting. I decided that when I became a boss, I wanted at least some of my staff to feel the...