Advice for parents of college-bound youth.

"I've always known where my daughter was and what she was doing," says a mother about to send her offspring off to her freshman year at college. "It scares me that I won't have that kind of control anymore." This is a dilemma many parents are facing as their sons or daughters prepare to embark on the independent journey of college life, where they'll make new friends, set their own priorities. and begin to establish their own identities as adults.

To help cope with the anxiety that can accompany this milestone. Kendall Lott, director of Radford University's Center for Counseling and Student Development, suggests parents view this transition as another developmental stage, not unlike earlier stages when children first were sent off to day care or kindergarten. "It is a change, but that's life. It can be traumatic, but it can also be growth-producing. I like to view it as letting go without breaking apart. The partnership continues."

He maintains that parents should not be concerned if conflicts erupt over issues such as money, cars, or curfews. "Sometimes, separation anxiety will come out as hostility. During this period, kids are like ducks on a pond. They look cool, but underneath they're paddling like crazy."

To help avoid common pitfalls, Lott suggests establishing clear guidelines...