Advice for parents of out-of-control kids.

Children who physically harm parents, run away, or emotionally manipulate divorced parents are situations suggesting that the youngsters are out of control. Even typical teenage "back talk" can be frustrating for mothers and fathers who feel they no longer are in charge of the parent-child relationship, note Eric Dlugokinski and Sandra Allen, child psychology specialists at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center. For parents who are concerned, the following five ideas can help them keep and/or reestablish healthy guidance with their offspring:

Authoritative parenting (nurturing leadership) is the most effective style. To become authoritative, parents need to spend time nurturing and caring for kids to develop the relationship. Second, they need to see themselves as leaders, not friends. "Children should be equal in worth, but not in authority," Dlugokinski maintains. "The role of the parent is not to win a popularity contest; it is to provide guidance for the child and help that child add new responsibilities to his or her life."

Adults need to examine their habitual way of controlling youngsters. "We tend to try to control our children in the same way we were controlled, even if we try to be different," Allen points out. "We also tend to use the same type of discipline over and over--even if it isn't working."

Physical discipline (spankings...