Adjusting your communication style: dealing with the difficult and challenging personality.

• Author: Sabol, Byron G.

Those who work in law firm marketing often face the challenge of communicating with difficult and challenging personalities. After testing the communications styles of more than 2,000 law firm professionals in seven countries, I have developed helpful hints when communicating face-to-face with challenging personalities--inside or outside of the law firm marketing environment.

Researchers, articulating the importance of personality and its influence on how people communicate, stress that every individual develops a primacy in one of four major behavioral functions: controller, analyzer, supporter or promoter. Individuals tend to get along better with those whose communication style is similar to their own. Conversely, we have the most difficult time communicating and relating with someone who is in the exact opposite quadrant as ours. If you know your own communication style and the style of the other person, you are much better equipped to communicate in a manner that seems more open and trustworthy to the other person. As communication barriers start to fall, your ability to relate is enhanced because you are more in sync with each other.

Through your knowledge of communication styles, you are in a position to defuse many communication and personality conflicts. The study of the four personality types is not an attempt to pigeonhole anyone into a specific quadrant, but rather to provide information that will assist a person to align his or her communication with the communication style of the other person. The goal, then, is to assist us to be on the same wavelength as the other person. By recognizing each of these communications styles, you can better present your message so that it will be acceptable to the other person.

[1] Controller

The controller is a doer and often the driving force within an organization. Not surprising, based on my communications style testing, 85 percent of all lawyers fall into the "controller" or "analyzer" communication style quadrant. This person leads others. He is characterized by emphasis on action and results. This person thrives on getting things done here and now. Just as the alpha dog must lead the pack, the controller must be first and must lead. Because he places high standards on himself and others, he is likely to be seen as constructively impatient and tireless.

When communicating or when working with the typical controller, be prepared to move fast and to be tested. Expect the controller to...