72 The Alabama Lawyer 476 (2011). Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Judge.

• Author: By Judge William R. Sawyer

Alabama Lawyer

2011.

72 The Alabama Lawyer 476 (2011).

Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Judge

Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Judge(And Three Things You Should Always Do)By Judge William R. SawyerFrequently, a lawyer will stand up in court and make an otherwise excellent presentation of his case, only to shoot himself in the foot by saying something that detracts from his argument. I have identified the top 10 things that a lawyer should never say to a judge while making an oral presentation. To end on a positive note, I have also suggested three things that lawyers should always do. While I approach this from the viewpoint of a bankruptcy judge who sits through interminable motion dockets, these principles apply to almost all oral presentations. With a nod to David Letterman, here are the top 10 things never to say to a judge.

10. "I'll be brief."

A lawyer should never say, "I'll be brief," even if he is. Lawyers frequently preface their remarks with this unnecessary bon mot. Lawyers who say this usually mean that their case is so bad or that they are so poorly prepared that they just do not have much to say. Some of the more Machiavellian types will say this in an effort to generate an expectation that they will be brief, and then they take an inordinately long time hoping that they have sucked the oxygen out of the courtroom so that their opponent will feel he cannot take much time. In any event, this should never be said. Always start with the assumption that the court will expect a lawyer to use the time appropriate for the matter, but no more.

9. "It's in my motion (or brief)"

This is usually said by a lawyer who knew what he was talking about when he wrote his motion but has not looked at it since and has forgotten most of what he wrote. This makes it appear as if the lawyer is criticizing the judge for being inadequately prepared to hear the motion when, in fact, it is the lawyer who is inadequately prepared. Counsel should always answer a question from the court the best they can without suggesting that the judge is inadequately prepared.

8. "My secretary forgot to put this on my calendar"

This is often uttered by lawyers who are moving for reconsideration of a motion lost because they did not show up for the hearing. A lawyer should never blame his staff and should always take the blame.

7. "That's a good...