2012 Veepstakes.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: Off the Map - Possible Vice Presidential candidates - List

Since Governor Romney sewed up the Republican nomination tighter than one of Chris Christie's old suits, the only remaining election drama before the Tampa convention is which name the baron of Bain Capital intends to place on the bottom of his bumper sticker. Yes, friends, it's time again to play a variation of that quadrennial game sensation sweeping the nation: Guess the Vice Presidential Pick!

The Vice Presidency is the strangest job interview in history. The only way to apply is to deny desiring the position. The more sincerely you demur, the better your odds. Saying exceptionally exemplary things about the candidate never hurts. Neither does a proven ability to raise gobs of money. Disguising any interest in 2016--all good. But the choice ultimately depends on whether Willard decides to excite his base, gravitate toward the middle, make a game change, or borrow a DeLorean and steer back to the future,

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Since everybody loves the horse race, let's handicap the Veepstakes.

Texas Congressman Doctor Ron Paul: 1,000 to 1. Less chance than a snail hauling a piano has of qualifying for the 100-meter dash at the London Summer Olympics.

Texas Governor Rick Perry. 10,000 to 1. Tripped over the rail. Same thing, only the snail is dead.

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, pizza CEO Herman Cain, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann: 100,000 to 1. Stall door never opened. The snail is dead and the piano is made of uranium, heaviest element on Earth.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie: 100 to 1. Threw three shoes. Spends much time bringing many things to the table but, alas, New Jersey is not among them.

Former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty: 30 to 1. Wore down as the pace setter. Problem is, with two guys so white, it would become known as the Albino Ticket.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal: 25 to 1. Distance a problem. President Barack. Yes. Vice President Piyush? Not out of the question.

Former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush: 50 to 1. Too soon. People need more time to recover from Bush Fatigue. Another two decades should do it.

Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels: 25 to 1. Plays to speed. Bland and boring. A victory party guaranteed to cure insomnia.

Wisconsin...