Family Violence: a Colorado Plague

• Publication year: 1997
• Pages: 29

26 Colo.Law. 29 Colorado Lawyer 1997.

1997, November, Pg. 29. Family Violence: A Colorado Plague

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29

Vol.26, No. 11, Pg. 29

The Colorado Lawyer
November 1997
Vol. 26, No. 11 [Page 29]

Features
CBA President's Message to Members
Family Violence: A Colorado Plague
by Rebecca Koppes Conway

Let one lawyer tell you her story

"I come to the door of my house; every time, I stop. I pray that when I open the door he is gone

"I still do that, even though we divorced more than four years ago. The divorce took three years. During that time, I could find him in my house at any time

"He says he has not been back since the divorce was final. I don't know. I think I find things have been moved. Things are missing. Hyper-vigilant is exactly how you would describe me.

"It didn't start this way. He was charming. He is also a lawyer. He hit me for the first time ten years ago. I talked too long on the telephone. Before that, I had started answering for every minute of every day in fear the hitting would start.

"I tried to make things peaceful. I had children. And now I am certain you are asking the 'why-didn't-you-just-leave' question. I am a lawyer. I know about proof. I know many times I questioned whether I could prove what was happening. To this day, I don't know that I could.

"I tried to convince him to leave. I tried to get out. I had children. It is an incredible nuisance to get little kids up and around when you want to go somewhere. Try doing it in the middle of the night with a maniac screaming at and hitting you.

"And, try imagining how embarrassing it was. After all, only poor, ignorant women get beat up, right?

"Even now, I am not revealing my name. You may not know I ever had an injury. I had the teeth that were knocked out replaced. I claimed I had the flu when I had a black eye.

"That was an accident. Usually, he hit the back of my head so it wouldn't show.

"You may figure out who I am. To this day, I don't tell many people. I don't think you can understand me. Oh, and how did I finally get out?

"I told him I didn't think I cared anymore if I died, but I was not going to let these children grow up with this.

"Now, I just pray when I open the door to my house that he doesn't take me up on that."

I received this in the mail recently. It was from someone I had known for years. I was surprised at first...