From the Wool-sack
| Publication year | 1983 |
| Pages | 775 |
1983, May, Pg. 775. From the Wool-Sack
Not drunk is he who from the floor Can rise alone and still drink more; But drunk is he who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise.
Thomas Love Peacock
The Misfortunes of Elphin
The last time I wrote a column on how to thwart justice, I was soundly cut down by one of my fellow practitioners who, in an open letter to The Colorado Lawyer, suggested I did not know what I was talking about and was doing a disservice to the bar by publishing such nonsense.(fn1) Although probably right on both counts, I was merely chastened and not cured and, hence, here I go again.
This is a column on how to beat a drunk driving rap. It is not original with me. My instructor (and through me, your instructor) is none other than the chief of police of the city and county of Denver, Art Dill. Robert Jevnager, a division chief for the Denver Police Department, had a one-car accident December 17, 1982, and was found drunk at the accident scene. (The division chief heads the department's 700-member patrol division.) Although it is not clear exactly what happened, the investigation showed that the division chief was northbound on Wadsworth when he allegedly fell asleep, continued across the highway southbound lanes and up onto an embankment. The car stopped in a ditch about twenty-five feet off the road's southbound lanes.
For reasons that are not explained in the story I read, the car that the division chief was driving would not start following the accident. Mr. Jevnager had, through foresight, carefully placed a bottle of Wild Turkey on the seat beside him before falling asleep in case he should suddenly find himself in need of it. Upon being awakened by the crash, he did what many of us do upon being rudely awakened---he consumed six shots in order to keep warm. The points he got from his choice of bourbon he loses for poor judgment, since anyone who has spent any time outdoors knows that you do not get warm by drinking, except temporarily. His poor judgment, however, was its own reward. The state patrol officer who investigated the accident said Mr. Jevnager was clearly intoxicated but was not given a blood alcohol test because he told the officer he had consumed six shots of bourbon to keep warm when he couldn't restart his...
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