12.817 Reasons to Embrace the Lightness of Letting Go

• Pages: 35-36
• Date: 01 April 2023
• Author: Joseph P. Beckman
• Subject Matter: Derecho Civil

MENTAL HEALTH & WELLNESS

By Joseph P. Beckman, Litigation News Ass ociate Ed itor

12,817 Reasons to Embrace the

Lightness of Letting Go

Sometimes, no matter your preparation, no matter

your tenacity, no matter your resilience, life seems

to conspire to bring you down. 2023 has certainly

started out that way. As I compose this now griev-

ously overdue piece the morning before a too-

familiar surgical procedure, I nd myself determined to make

lemonade out of the lemons that seem to be rolling my way

from every direction.

These lemons are all rst-world problems to be sure. That

does not make bearing them any sweeter, nor does that permit

me to ignore them. Reminding myself they are rst-world prob-

lems, however, surprisingly seems to permit me to let go a bit

and be kinder to myself. That is important, for self-compassion,

which I have written about previously in this space, and is an

important tool in our kit for staying emotionally healthy.

Strike One

The rst blow was the news that my partner of four years—a

spirited, fun, tenacious, growth mindset, and insanely physi-

cally active physician—received news that she was going to

the bench for spinal fusion surgery. This is her second back

surgery since we have been together, and third overall. While

the news was not a shock, it was still a psychological blow.

Compounding the felony is that we are presently in a two-

city relationship. Thus, I will not have the same luxury of

being present to provide both physical and emotional support

as I have in the past. Instead our current physical separation

exacerbates the emotional weight we each must bear individu-

ally at a time when we already have diminished reserves.

St rike Two

As I wrote, Dr. J is relentless, and she received permission from

her surgeon to go skiing a few weeks ahead of her surgery. We

are both athletic by nature and love the feeling of being on the

mountain. She planned a trip to Vail (my rst for skiing) over

my birthday.

On day two I took a low-speed fall on a catwalk. In the

time Dr. J and I have been together, I have had a rotator cuff

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