Not-so-civil discourse.

AuthorMcNairy, Francine G.
PositionReprint

Undoubtedly, you are familiar with the proverb, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." It seems that many in our society have come to regard this saying not as a proverb but as a truism, as their license to say anything they want regardless of the harm it might cause. Name calling and bullying have increasingly become the accepted norm in daily human interactions. Civil discourse appears to have lost its value.

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We live in a world where not-so-civil discourse is commonplace. This behavior is evident in our schools and universities, on the playground, in campaign ads, throughout ideological debates and on the Internet where one can anonymously hide behind hateful language. Discourteous discourse is present in community meetings, letters to newspaper editors, public hearings, television programs, provocative talk radio and some blogs. Political analysts tell us that, more and more, Americans resent the negative political ads that appear on television and on the Internet. Yet, they also predict that the upcoming fall election will contain significantly more negative candidate-bashing ads than ever.

Not-so-civil discourse has become the one, true equal-opportunity issue. It crosses political lines, sparks acerbic debates about family and sexual orientation, roots itself in religious intolerance and ignores social-economic classes, cultural and racial groups. Its common language is inappropriate, corrosive, insulting, hostile, and aggressive. Not-so-civil discourse is mean-spirited behavior.

Take, for example, the cyber-bullying episode of thirteen-year-old Megan. She was a child with dreams as well as vulnerabilities, battling a weight problem and ADD. An online "friend" gave her new hope. At first, the friend was perfect and accepting; then "he" turned ugly and didn't want to be her friend. Fragile and shattered, she took her own life. The "boy" who had broken her spirit was actually a fictitious creation of a cyber bully, the mother of a former friend, a neighbor.

Civil discourse is not merely about niceness. One of the hallmarks of a civilized society is that civility must be guaranteed and observed among those who will inevitably disagree. Civil discourse is fundamental to the protection of our civilized society. It is about respecting the individual and, yet, having the ability to passionately disagree without being disagreeable. It is about ensuring a safe environment in which people can exercise...

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