Parent coordinators: an effective new tool in resolving parental conflict in divorce.

• Author: Ho, Victoria M.
• Position: Florida

The following three-part article introduces a very effective method of resolving parental conflict over children's issues that often arise as parties venture through the transition of divorce. The use of the parent coordinator is described through the eyes of an attorney, a judge, and a parent coordinator.

Parenting Coordinators: An ATTORNEY'S Perspective

by Victoria M. Ho

In Lee and Collier counties, attorneys and judges are utilizing parent coordinators with great success to assist in high-conflict divorces where custody or visitation issues are involved pre-final judgment and post-final judgment.

Parent coordinators are mental health providers with at least a master's degree, who are licensed by the state. Family mediation certification is also a skill requirement. Because the parenting coordinator bears tremendous responsibility for making shared parental responsibility work, he or she must be well trained in child development and what constitutes an appropriate visitation schedule.[1] The parenting coordinator must have knowledge of the legal process and a working knowledge of family law.[2] Parental alienation is often an issue necessitating the assistance of a parenting coordinator, so he or she must be particularly well aware of this issue.

The involvement of a parent coordinator is usually as follows:

* Conferencing with both parties' counsel and meeting with both parents and children, together and/or separately, to determine the issues involved.

* Reviewing psychological, school, or other relevant documentation.

* Consulting with relevant third party witnesses such as psychologists, teachers, neighbors, etc.

* Creating appropriate visitation schedules with the input of the parents and children.

* Mediating parenting or visitation disputes.

* Teaching parenting skills, i.e., communication skills, principles of child development, and children's issues in divorce.

* Making recommendations to the court regarding visitation schedules, where mediation between the parties is unsuccessful.

* Reporting to the court regarding the children's issues from the children's perspective, as well as both parents.

* Teaching parents about parental alienation, monitoring cases where alienation may be occurring, and reporting to the court regarding alienation.

* Counseling and educating children who refuse to visit parents.

The parenting coordinator assists the parents in creating a parenting plan most effective for that particular family's needs. In doing so, the parenting coordinator and parents create a plan that minimizes the children's exposure to parental conflict while balancing the child's developmental needs with reasonable parental time-sharing.

The biggest difference a parenting coordinator makes is in fostering communication and problem-solving skills between the parents. This, in addition to counseling the parents on the underlying issues that cause the parental conflict, can help the parents to cooperatively parent their children. Studies have shown that parents who can cooperate in the coparenting process without conflict raise children with fewer emotional problems.[3] If that goal is not possible, then the parenting coordinator teaches parents to interact in front of the children without conflict, which is the next best situation for the children.

For many parents, these goals seem impossible at the inception of the divorce process. In fact, many parents are incapable of achieving cooperative parenting behavior, or at least conflict-free behavior, without outside intervention. Parenting coordinators have proven to be invaluable in this process. Early intervention, ongoing education, support, and maintenance of the coparenting process by the parenting coordinators provide the structure and guidance that can make an enormous difference to many families.

Appended to this article is the "Order Appointing Parenting Coordinator" used by many judges in Lee and Collier counties. A parenting coordinator is not a custody evaluator, and will not give an opinion as to the ultimate issue of custody (except in unusual circumstances where good cause is shown). In custody disputes, a parenting coordinator may be appointed to assist the parents in child-sharing plans during the pendency of the case and after custody has been resolved.

To eliminate confusion by the parents, parenting coordinators, and the attorneys about the specific duties of a parenting coordinator, a very specific order is necessary.

A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party. He or she is not the ally of either parent. It is because of this neutrality that a parenting coordinator can be an effective educator, mediator, and counselor to the entire family. Additionally, because the parenting coordinator is court-appointed, neither party can "fire" him or her before the recommendation for visitation is made.

Parenting coordinators have proven to be of great help to attorneys as well. Parenting coordinators have more time and better skills to deal with the myriad issues that occur as parents make the transition to the roles of divorced parents. Additionally, because an attorney is by definition an advocate for his or her client, many times this role is less effective than the parenting coordinator's role of mediator/counselor/educator to both parties.

Divorce is a traumatic process for families. As attorneys learn to lessen the trauma through cooperative lawyering, efficient discovery, and mediation to assist efficient and fair resolutions, we can be well advised to utilize the services of parenting coordinators.

Judges appreciate the information and input a parenting coordinator can give. Visitation disputes cannot be resolved easily in the limited time a motion calendar can allow. Many times, the allegations are so numerous and so conflicting there is simply no way a judge can make a reasoned decision in the time available. A report and testimony of a parenting coordinator whose only agenda is to minimize conflict for the children is a welcome beacon.

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