Big fat idiots.

• Author: Sullum, Jacob
• Position: Fast Food Lawsuits - Brief Article - Column

IF YOU ALWAYS thought there was something creepy about Ronald McDonald, now you know why. A class action lawsuit filed in September puts the baggy-trousered, red-haired icon a the center of a conspiracy to entice America's children into a debilitating diet full of saturated fat, cholesterol, salt, and sugar.

The three lead plaintiffs are New York City teenagers of formidable size who have eaten at McDonald's nearly every day for at least five years. "We feel that the advertising strategies target young children," said their attorney, Samuel Hirsch. "Toy promotions and Happy Meals are a lethal combination." He didn't mention the chain's ubiquitous playgrounds--probably because the opportunity for exercise they offer might be seen as mitigating McDonald's guilt.

Hirsch also represents Caesar Barber, a middle-aged maintenance man with two heart attacks under his belt and substantial flab above it...